12/28/2022 0 Comments Salma hayek in the hitmans bodyguard![]() She was also a badass, and the sort of take-no-shit barroom brawler that made an ideal life partner for a hitman. Her character was peripheral in the first movie, someone designed to motivate Jackson’s assassin to cooperate with the authorities. There’s a single wild card in this deck, and that’s Hayek. Was this what we were so anxious to get back to after a postponed 2020 summer-movie season and a year of shuttered theaters? Once again, you may find yourself wondering, even as a fan of both of these actors and of action movies in general, why the hell you’re watching all of it. Once again, Reynolds and Jackson end up bickering a lot and saving each other’s lives, things blow up real good, and Jackson says “motherfucker” twice as much as he did in the original. Many disposable, interchangeable bad guys get shot. He just yells, which Grillo is admittedly really good at, but come on, people. To repeat: Grillo, a boxer and a brown belt in jiujitsu, the 21st century’s version of Lee Marvin, and one of the most compelling he-man action heroes of the past 10 years (check out Boss Level), does not get a single action sequence here. He doesn’t punch or kick or pound anyone, or rock any gun-fu whatsoever. Morgan Freeman drops by for a bit, partially to move the “story” along and partially to serve as a punchline to an unfunny conceptual “joke.” Frank Grillo shows up as an Interpol agent who’s dying to get back to Boston (seriously, WTF is going on here?!?), and needs Bryce and the Kincaids to act as go-betweens involving some illicit stuff regarding the villain’s scheme. Salma Hayek - more on her in a second - is back as Darius’ wife, Sonia, who keeps crowing about how she wants a baby in between deploying F-bombs in both English and Spanish. You’ll care as much about this excuse to get these guys working together again as the movie does, which is not at all. This time, instead of Oldman’s scenery-chewing Eastern European despot, we get Antonio Banderas’ silver-haired, Greek shipping billionaire - you read all of that correctly - who’s planning a massive cyberattack in an attempt to cripple the E.U., or something like that. Jackson’s killer-for-hire Darius Kincaid messes up those plans for him. Once again, Reynolds’ exasperated “executive protection agent” Michael Bryce tries to get his career and life back on track. The Private Lives of Liza Minnelli (The Rainbow Ends Here)Īnd yet here we are, slowly shuffling back into theaters after months and months of pining for something, anything, to see on a big screen again, and we’re greeted by another chapter of what now seems to be a franchise. Meet the Beatle: A Guide to Ringo Starr's Solo Career in 20 Songs A sequel was not, as they say, inevitable. didn’t even crack the top 40 highest grossing films of the year. Though their team-up earned over $176 million worldwide, this poor man’s 48 Hrs. It was, however, proof that you can pair two charismatic, highly bankable movie stars - both of whom have done top-notch work as one half of other duos - and see them generate exactly zero chemistry together. It’s less an actual action movie than a rough sketch or crude cave painting of one. As a bonus, you got a breakneck chase scene in a canal in Amsterdam and Gary Oldman sporting an over-the-top accent. The two end up bickering a lot and saving each other’s lives, things get blowed up real good, Jackson says “motherfucker” a lot, yadda yadda yadda. Jackson is a hitman who’s supposed to testify at the Hague in a war-crimes trial. We wouldn’t blame you if the details regarding this pulpy 2017 buddy comedy had faded from your memory banks like so much post-headshot pink mist. ![]() Maybe you remember The Hitman’s Bodyguard.
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